I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize