OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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