this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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