the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
