Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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