My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize