I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
