i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
