My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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