The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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