i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
