I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
