does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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