omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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