I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
