You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
