So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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