Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
