We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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