Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
