when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
