Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
