Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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