ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
