is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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