We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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