just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
