Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
