It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
FUCK WHALES
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
