I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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