Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
