i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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