Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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