Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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