it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
