blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
