mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize