This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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