I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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