It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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