The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
