Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We have started to decorate penises.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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