i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
