Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
