I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize