I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
