i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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