Sponge bath it is.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
