I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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