just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
