nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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