Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
