it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize