It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
high people should be assigned attendants
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
