did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
