walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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