watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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