She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize