I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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