Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
