Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
