just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
