return my video game
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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