You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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