just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
